Pennies dropping for me last week on the course about the value of not over writing - my problem is that I do a lot of reflecting on the feelings of characters. I've really noticed how successful writers do the "show don't tell" stuff really well.My writing exercise from Monday night follows:
The small room is overheated in the way that hospital rooms always seem to be in winter. She sits on a hard chair, coloured red, opposite the small door leading to the outside world. She is sitting still, not crying. Her eyes are fixed on the table in front of her only occasionally looking up at the man asking her questions. She is dressed in black without make-up her long dark hair pulled back from her face. When she speaks it is to dismiss the questions with one word answers. Her hands twitch together as she places one on top of the other and then decides to change them over. Her feet are planted firmly on the floor. All her muscles are tightly clenched.
She snarls "How would you know what it's like". Spit begins to form at the edges of her mouth. Her eyes glare at the man, her hands grip the table. She screams like a torturers victim "I am nothing. Nothing can help. They're dead"
This is based on an interview I did with the angriest person I have ever seen who was a woman who had attempted suicide after losing her two children in a house fire. Not sure why I was thinking of this on a Monday night 20 years after the event and on the other side of the planet. However what I was trying to convey to the reader was the sense of a volcano or explosion about to go off - not sure how successful that was.
